This Is Why We Attract People Who Don’t Actually Suit Us (And Why It’s Okay)

Throughout our lives, we attract people who simply do not suit us.We develop relationships and friendships with them which spark something within us. However, these people usually do not stay in our lives for very long, and for very good reason. In truth, it’s beneficial, and here’s why:

You might overhear someone speaking about their life-long friend since childhood, or their high school sweetheart they have been married to for 20 years, and think to yourself, “how?” It’s a normal thought to have. The majority of us do not get to experience the extended benefits of long-term relationships or friendships (and I mean long-term as in “decades.”) This is because, for most of us, the most profound and significant relationships we have are the ones which are short-lived. People will inevitably drift in and out of our lives, regardless of the level of attachment we grant them. Whether it is someone you develop a fiery romantic involvement with, someone who sparks your interest while traveling, or someone you casually meet at work, your life (and you) have changed because of them; and you know they’re not a permanent fixture.

After several encounters of people seemingly placed in your life by some divine purpose, only to experience their temporary stay, you might start to feel doubt creep into your thoughts. In fact, you probably feel like you are attracting the wrong people all the time, and you can’t figure out why. Don’t blame yourself. What is really happening is, you are attracting the right people at the right time. As we grow from youth to full-fledged adulthood, we venture through certain encounters which help us to better understand ourselves. Regardless if it is sexual or platonic, these fleeting relationships teach us who we really are, and who we wish to become. In all respects, they teach us the fundamentals of life: how to connect with another soul on an intellectual, emotional, and physical level, and most importantly, how to let go.

While it is an incredible gift to find someone, fall in love, and spend the remainder of your days together in a supportive and nurturing relationship, it is also incredibly rare. For those of us who haven’t quite achieved that life-long relationship, don’t stress; there is a reason. We are still growing, still learning, and still adapting to the changes taking place within ourselves. It’s important to remember that the realizations which have the most impact on us, are recognized during moments of self-discovery.

It’s simple to understand the process when you look at it from a different perspective. The people who come into our lives are there to teach us something, whether it be about ourselves or others’ perception of ourselves. Finding out what our personal truth is- what we won’t tolerate, what drives us, what empathic responses we have- this is how we start attracting the right people in our lives.

The truer you are to yourself, the more authentic your relationships will be because youknow all about you.

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Mother, Daughter, Sister, Designer, Facilitator, Mentor, Women & Girls Advocate, Lover of  Words,
Beauty, and All Things Feminine...