My outlook today...


I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become kinder to myself, and more accepting. I don't depend on others for approval. I don't freak out if I eat an extra cookie, or stress over not making my bed, or for buying that beautiful stained glass butterfly that I didn't need, but gives me joy every time I look at it. I can allow myself a treat, to be messy, or extravagant, if I choose. I have recently lost close friends, nurtured injured children, sick family members and spent too many years stressing over everything.... After spending a weekend in a hospital 2 weeks ago because I thought I was having a heart attack- I've been reevaluating my life and celebrating the small and big things. I have seen too many amazing people leave this world too soon; before they understood and embraced the great freedom that comes with aging. Whose business is it if I choose to read, create or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon? I will dance with abandon to old grooves that my 16 year old daughter rolls her eyes at, and if I, in the next moment, want to cover my head with blankets and cry like a baby- for any reason ... I will. Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, when families fall apart, when people you thought you could count on- weren't there? But broken hearts are what give us strength, perspective, understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and does not yet know the joy of imperfection... I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver. As I get older, it is easier to be me. To live in this body I was given this time around. I care less about what other people think. I rarely question my intuition and stand up for myself often. I can laugh at past blunders. I can laugh at myself and truly accept that I don't have to be good at everything- in fact- there's a lot I'm not good at- YAY for me! I can focus on the things that bring me joy and hire out the rest! So, to answer your question... how are you doing? I'm fine... I'm great... I'm alive! I like getting older. It is setting me free. I like the person I am becoming. The person I am. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. Today I will stay in this present moment and allow my natural overflowing gratitude to spill over....



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Mother, Daughter, Sister, Designer, Facilitator, Mentor, Women & Girls Advocate, Lover of  Words,
Beauty, and All Things Feminine...

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