Letting Go



On nights like this I find myself asleep and awake, turned toward the moon and turned toward you, your warmth inviting me to bring you close and leave you alone. All night I find myself unable to choose between the love I feel for you through closeness and the grief of having to let you go through distance, so that it seems I can only breathe fully in the dark by taking you in and giving you away to your quiet rhythm of appearance and disappearance, setting you free and letting you return in your breathing and not breathing, or your half sighed phrases spoken to the dark, whispered from the dream in which you live, so that I lie between sleeping and waking, seeing you are here and dreaming you are gone, wanting to hold you and wanting to let you go, living far inside you as you breathe close to me, and living far beyond you, as I wait through the hours of the night for you to wake and find me again, the light in your eyes half-dreaming on the pillow looking back at me, wondering if you really see me, not knowing how far I have travelled, through what distance I have come to find you, where I have been, or what I have seen, how far, or how near, not knowing how I have gained and lost you a thousand times between darkness and dawn. (adapted from David Whyte’s writings)

artist: unknown


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